Transcript: Toddler Bedtime Battles? Steal These 4 Must-Try Sleep Strategies Tonight!

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Are bedtime battles turning your toddler’s night into a never ending struggle? Well, you’re not alone. If you’ve ever faced an overtired meltdown prone little one, who suddenly insists they’re not tired while rubbing their eyes and yawning, then this episode is for you.

Hi, I’m Helen Thompson, a childcare educator and baby massage instructor, and welcome to First Time Mum’s Chat. If you’re new here, this is a podcast where I help you navigate early motherhood with practical, gentle parenting insights without the overwhelm.

In the last episode, we talked about newborn sleep. Why those tiny humans wake so often and how to make nights easier. But what happens when they grow into toddlers and bedtime becomes a full blown negotiation.

This episode is all about self guided sleep. Helping your little one recognize their own sleep cues and settle peacefully without tantrum or power struggles. What if you could actually look forward to bedtime instead of dreading it. What if your toddler wanted to go to sleep because they understood when they were tired?

I’ll be sharing practical strategies to make that dream a reality, plus a simple trick to stop bedtime stalling before it even starts. So if you’re tired of endless, “just one more story” requests at bedtime, feeling like an Olympic event, stick around. Let’s turn those restless nights into restful ones.

Let’s dive in.

Let’s start by talking about what self guided sleep means for toddlers. Well, at this age, children are developing independence and learning to understand their own bodies, including when they’re tired. Encouraging self guided sleep helps them build this awareness, which is a valuable skill they’ll carry with them as they grow.

The key here is to recognize your child’s cues and let them guide the process. That is so important. I’ll say it again. Let them guide the process. Toddlers are still learning how to regulate their emotions. And waiting until they’re overtired often leads to meltdowns. You know the ones. Screaming, crying, and the classic I’m not tired denial, even as they rub their eyes.

Instead, I’m going to help you look for those early signals that your toddler is ready for sleep. They might start to slow down, yawn, or become less engaged with their toys. Teaching them to recognize these cues themselves is a game changer and I’ll share some simple ways to do that in just a moment.

One of the biggest challenges with toddlers is catching them before they’re overtired. When a child is overtired, their bodies release stress hormones like cortisol, which can make it even harder for them to fall asleep. Instead of waiting for the overtired meltdown, watch for signs like yawning, quieter behavior, or your toddler becoming clingy.

You can also teach your child to recognize these signals by talking about them in a simple, age appropriate language. For example, you might say, your body is telling you it’s sleepy because you’re yawning. When we rub our eyes a lot, it could be a sign we need to sleep. Using this kind of language helps your toddler connect their physical feelings with the idea of sleep.

Over time, they’ll start to notice these cues and may even tell you, I’m sleepy, mummy. That’s a win win for everyone. Let’s dive into how we can create a positive, tantrum free bedtime routine. A peaceful, stress free experience for both you and your toddler. Yes, it’s possible and even if sometimes it feels like an Olympic event.

In my chat with Kim Hawley, in episode 154, she shared a brilliant perspective of bedtime routines. One of her key tips is let your toddler get their wiggles out and if you’ve ever heard of the wiggles, that’s a great way to get your wiggles out, before winding down. Picture this, a family dance party in the living room, or a game of run flop on the couch.

These playful moments after dinner aren’t just fun, they’re also a great way for regulating your toddler’s nervous system. It’s their way of burning off energy and transitioning into the calming part of the evening. Once the wiggles are out, you can gently guide your toddlers into relaxation. This might involve some soft music, a soothing baby massage, you can even do this over their pyjamas for older toddlers, or the predictable sequence of their favorite bedtime story and snuggles.

These cues work like magic! They signal that it’s time for sleep and foster a lovely sense of connection. And that’s what you want, a nice calming sense of connection, a restful time so that they know it’s time for them to sleep. It was such a pleasure having Kim on First Time Mum’s Chat and I was also lucky enough to join her podcast, Respectful Sleep Training and Parenting, where we talked about my experience as a baby massage instructor and childcare educator.

If you want more insights, I highly recommend checking out our episode 154. I’ve popped a link in the show notes. Let’s start with the golden rule, consistency. You’ve probably heard that so many times but it is so powerful, consistency because toddlers love routines. They thrive on knowing what’s coming next because it makes them feel secure.

Try to follow the same steps each night. Maybe a warm bath, their favourite story, and some quiet cuddle time. And don’t forget to give them a heads up. After the story, it’s time to sleep. It helps avoid those just one more story negotiations, well, most of the time.

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The next thing I want to mention is get them involved. Toddlers love to be involved. They love feeling that they’re in charge, even if they aren’t. Give them small choices to make bedtime feel like a team effort. Let them pick their pyjamas or choose which book to read. It’s amazing how much smoother things can go when they feel like they’ve had a say and the other thing, which is a great thing to do, is visual aids.

Visual aids are also a game changer. Create a simple bedtime chart with pictures. Maybe a toothbrush, pyjamas, a bed, and maybe even a sleepy looking teddy bear. But the key here is to get your toddler involved in making that bedtime chart. These visual cues can help your toddler understand the steps and give them a sense of accomplishment if they’ve helped you to do the bedtime chart. As they tick off each one, plus they might even start to recognize when they’re feeling tired, which is half the battle at bedtime.

The next one is of course setting the mood. So let’s talk about that vibe. Keep the lights dim. Think of bedtime as setting the stage for relaxation. If your toddler struggles to settle, try a gentle back rub or play soft, calming music. Remember, bedtime should feel cosy and comforting, not like an all out wrestling match to get them into bed. As your toddler becomes more confident in their sleep routine, you can gradually encourage them to fall asleep on their own. Start by sitting nearby as they drift off to sleep, then slowly move further away each night until they’re comfortable settling without you in their room.

If they call out to you, respond calmly but briefly. Let them know you’re there, but it’s time for sleep. For example, you might say, I’m right outside if you need me, but it’s time to rest now. This gradual approach helps your child feel supported while also fostering their independence. Remember, it’s a process.

Some nights will be easier than others and that’s perfectly okay. Helping your toddler learn to sleep on their own, is a big milestone, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. By recognising their sleep cues, creating a consistent routine, and encouraging independence at their own pace, you’re setting them up for success not just now, but for the future.

If you started baby massage early in your child’s life, it can still be a comforting part of their bedtime routine, even for toddlers. With their permission, you can incorporate a gentle story massage on their back or tummy, whichever they prefer. This can be a lovely way to connect and help them wind down at the end of the day. If you’d like guidance on creating story massage for bedtime, or have ideas or other topics you’d love me to cover, reach out and let me know. I’ll be thrilled to plan future episodes that incorporate this soothing strategy and more.

Remember, bedtime doesn’t have to be a battle. It can be a time of connection and calm.

As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to thank you for joining me on First Time Mum’s Chat. Your dedication to creating a peaceful bedtime routine for your toddler is truly commendable.

To recap, we’ve explored recognizing early sleep cues to prevent overtiredness, establishing a consistent and calming bedtime routine, encouraging your child’s independence in settling to sleep.

Implementing these strategies can transform bedtime from a battleground into a bonding experience. If you find what I’ve shared helpful, I encourage you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Leave a review on your preferred platform. Your feedback helps me tailor content to your needs. Share this episode with fellow mums, who might benefit from these insights.

Ever wished you could understand exactly what your baby is trying to tell you? In our next episode, I’ll share how to decode your baby’s cries and cues, helping you respond with confidence and ease. Your input is invaluable. If you have questions or topics you’d like me to cover, please reach out. Together, we can navigate the beautiful journey of motherhood. Thank you once again for tuning in.

Wishing you and your little one restful nights and joyful days.