Transcript: When Your Crying Baby Feels Overwhelming: 5 Powerful Reminders

This is a text transcript from The First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. The episode is called When Your Crying Baby Feels Overwhelming: 5 Powerful Reminders and you can click on the link to view the full episode page, listen to the episode and view the show notes.

Hello and welcome to First Time Mum’s Chat. I’m Helen Thompson, a childcare educator, baby massage instructor, and someone who has spent many years working alongside babies and new families.

This podcast is here to support you as you begin your parenting journey because those early months with babies can be beautiful, but they can also feel confusing, exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming.

And today I want to talk about something that many mothers experience but don’t always talk about.

Have you ever found yourself standing there while your baby cries… f eeling completely overwhelmed and unsure what to do next?

In that moment, you might wonder…

Am I doing something wrong?

Why can’t I calm my baby?

But what if, in that moment nothing has actually gone wrong at all?

In this episode, we’re going to gently explore what might really be happening in those moments when babies cry and parents feel lost for a moment.

We’ll talk about connection, confidence, and why sometimes all that’s needed is something very simple, a pause and a breath.

Because your baby is learning about the world through you and the way you respond helps them feel safe in it.

So if you’ve ever had a moment where you’ve wondered whether you’re doing this whole parenting thing right, this episode is for you.

Sometimes in the early months with the baby, there are moments that can feel surprisingly overwhelming.

Your baby is crying.

Perhaps it’s been a long day.

Perhaps you’re tired.

Perhaps you’ve already tried everything you can think of.

And suddenly you find yourself standing there unsure what to do next.

Have you ever had a moment like that?

A moment where your baby is calling for you and yet inside you feel frozen.

Not because you don’t care.

Not because you don’t love your baby.

But because for a moment you simply feel lost.

Many mothers experience moments like this, although not everyone talks about it openly. In the early months of motherhood, so much is changing at once.

Your body has changed.

Your sleep has changed.

Your routines have disappeared.

And often, somewhere in the middle of all of those changes, a mother can begin to wonder quietly to herself…

where did I go?

Sometimes she may even think:

I don’t feel like the person I was before.

And in those moments when a baby cries or calls for her she might wonder:

Am I doing something wrong?

Why does this feel so difficult?

But very often in that moment, nothing has actually gone wrong at all.

Sometimes what has disappeared for a moment is simply confidence.

And when confidence disappears, even the most loving and capable mothers can begin to doubt themselves.

But while all this is happening inside a mother’s mind, something else is happening too.

Her baby is doing something very simple.

Reaching.

Calling.

Looking for the person who makes their world feel safe.

If babies could put their feelings into words, perhaps they might be saying something like…

” Mama, where are you?”

Not because you have disappeared.

But because they are reaching for you in the only way they know how.

Babies do not analyze situations the way adults do.

They do not think about whether a parent is doing things perfectly.

They do not measure success or failure.

They simply experience the world through connection.

Through touch.

Through voice.

Through presence.

Your baby is learning about the world through you.

The way you respond helps them feel safe in it.

And that does not mean responding perfectly every time.

There is no perfect way to be a mother.

There is only the relationship that grows between you and your baby, moment by moment.

Sometimes that relationship feels calm and easy.

And sometimes it feels uncertain.

Sometimes a mother may even feel as though she has lost herself for a while.

In the early months especially, emotions can run very deep.

Many mothers experience waves of feelings they didn’t expect.

Some feel overwhelmed.

Some feel exhausted.

Some feel as though they have been pulled into a storm of emotions that they don’t quite understand yet.

And sometimes these feelings can run deeper still, particularly in the early months after birth, when hormones, exhaustion, and life changes all come together at once.

But even in these moments, something very important remains.

The connection between a mother and her baby has not disappeared.

Your baby is still reaching for you.

You are still the person they are looking for.

Over many years of working with babies and families, I have noticed something very interesting.

Babies are incredibly sensitive to presence.

Not perfection.

Presence.

Let me share something I have seen many times while working as a nanny.

Sometimes I arrive at a home and a baby has been crying for quite some time.

The mother is exhausted, the father is trying to help, and everyone feels a little overwhelmed.

The parents have tried everything they can think of.

They’ve rocked the baby.

Walked the floor.

Checked the nappy.

Tried feeding.

Tried soothing.

And still the baby cries.

You can feel the exhaustion and frustration in the room.

And when I walk in, the first thing I usually do is something very simple.

I take a slow breath in…

and a slow breath out.

Just for a few seconds.

I haven’t said anything yet.

I haven’t even touched the baby.

But something interesting often begins to happen.

The energy in the room starts to shift.

The mother’s shoulders begin to relax.

The baby may still be crying, but sometimes the cry softens from a full scream into little whimpers.

And I might say gently to the mother,

” Would you like me to hold the baby for a little while… maybe make yourself a coffee, have a shower, or even take a short rest?”

Then I take another breath and hold the baby quietly.

After a few minutes, the crying usually begins to soften.

And I might speak very gently to the baby and say something like, ” Wow… that was a big emotion you were having.”

” Are you feeling a little better now?”

Often the baby looks up, still sniffling a little, but no longer crying.

And the room feels completely different.

Everything has become calmer.

Not just the baby.

The parents as well, and even me.

Sometimes the mother looks at me and asks, “How did you do that?”

And I usually smile and say something very simple.

” Sometimes taking a breath can do wonders.”

Because babies are incredibly sensitive to the emotional environment around them.

When we pause…

when we breathe…

when we allow ourselves to slow down…

the connection between parent and baby often begins to settle again.

Sometimes in the busyness and the exhaustion of early motherhood, a mother can feel as though she has lost herself somewhere along the way.

But often she has not been lost at all.

She has simply been navigating one of the most intense transitions a person can experience.

Becoming a mother is not just about caring for a baby.

It’s also about rediscovering yourself in a new role.

And sometimes that rediscovery takes time.

It takes patience.

It takes gentleness.

And perhaps most importantly, it takes trust.

Trust that the connection between you and your baby is still there, even on a date when you feel unsure.

Because your baby is not looking for a perfect mother.

Your baby is looking for you.

So next time your baby calls for you…

and you find yourself standing there wondering what to do…

pause for a moment.

Take a breath.

Remind yourself of something very simple.

Your baby is learning about the world through you.

The way you respond helps them feel safe in it.

And the connection between you and your baby has not disappeared.

It is still there.

Always.

Your baby is simply reaching for you.

And you are already the person they need.

As we come to the end of today’s episode, I hope this has given you a moment to pause and reflect.

Sometimes when your baby cries or emotions run high, it can feel as though something has gone wrong.

But very often what has disappeared in that moment is simply confidence, not the connection between you and your baby.

Your baby is still reaching for you.

And you are still the person they are looking for.

So the next time your baby calls you and do you feel unsure what to do, pause for a moment, take a breath and remember something very simple:

You haven’t lost the connection with your baby.

It is still there.

And your baby is still reaching for you and for that connection.

If today’s episode resonated with you, I love to hear from you. You can send me a message through Speakpipe at MyBabyMassage.net/message, that’s MyBabyMassage.net/message and share your experiences or questions.

And if you found this episode helpful, please consider following First Time Mum’s Chat or sharing it with another mom who might need a little reassurance today.

Thank you so much for spending this time with me, and I look forward to chatting with you again in the next episode of First Time Mum’s Chat.