Transcript: 7 Shocking Downsides of Newborn Dummies — And Simple Soothing Fixes That Work

This is a text transcript from The First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. The episode is called 7 Shocking Downsides of Newborn Dummies — And Simple Soothing Fixes That Work and you can click on the link to view the full episode page, listen to the episode and view the show notes.

Welcome to First Time Mum’s Chat, the podcast where new moms find calm, confidence and connection in those early, overwhelming months. I am your host, Helen Thompson, a childcare educator and baby massage instructor with over 20 years of experience supporting families just like yours.

Here’s a question many moms ask me. ” Should I give my baby a dummy… or is there another way to soothe them?” By the way, if you’re listening from North America, you might know a dummy as a pacifier.

In today’s episode, we’re exploring the art of soothing your baby without relying on a dummy. Whether you’ve got a newborn you’re trying to settle, or a toddler who’s still clinging to theirs, I’ll share gentle sensory rich strategies that help your little one feel safe and calm while also making life easier for you.

So if you’ve ever wondered how to comfort your baby without creating a habit that’s hard to break later, you’ll want to keep listening because sometimes the most powerful, soothing tools don’t come from gadgets or plastic. They come from your presence, your rhythm, and your touch.

Let’s get started.

Let’s talk about an approach that might feel a little different in today’s fast-paced parenting world. Soothing your baby without relying on a dummy.

This isn’t about judgment. Some parents use dummies and that’s okay. But I will always be a strong advocate for exploring ways to connect and comfort your baby that don’t rely on something they might later struggle to let go of. It can be heartbreaking to see a 4-year-old still clinging to a dummy because it’s the only tool they’ve known to self-soothe.

So what if we could support our babies, right from the beginning, to find calm in ways that build connection and trust without needing that dummy? From my own experience, I’ve witnessed many families soothe their babies without a dummy, both in my work as a nanny and throughout my career as a childcare educator. One moment that stands out was with a lovely family I worked with not long ago. I created a sense of calm and closeness and a shared purpose. They had a one-year-old and a four-year-old, who shared a magnificent, beautiful bond. The little one sometimes had trouble falling asleep. Instead of reaching for a dummy or a screen, I’d put on soft music, often Enya or even something playful like Baby Shark, or I would sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I would gently hold him, or sometimes we’d lie together while I sang quietly, often with his older sibling joining in too. Their closeness made this strategy especially comforting.

Although I had the music playing from my phone, I made sure he couldn’t see the screen. I avoid introducing screens in these moments because I find that gentle sounds and a calm presence are far more effective in helping little ones settle. Visual stimulations, like flashing lights or fast moving images can easily overwhelm a baby’s developing senses and that’s also the case with toddlers as well. It also shifts the focus away from soothing connection and turns the experience into passive entertainment, which can work against your calming goals.

By keeping it simple, warm and grounded in connection, you are helping your baby learn to regulate their emotions and you’re giving your toddler a beautiful way to feel involved too.

No screens, no distractions, just presence and rhythm. In about five minutes you’ll find usually that they settle and drift off peacefully.

This won’t be a magic solution for every baby, and of course I understand that, but I found time and time again that music, gentle touch and the sound of a calm voice can be powerful tools to help little ones regulate and build long-term soothing skills.

Let’s be honest, when you’re utterly exhausted, your baby is unsettled and your toddler is yelling in the background. Reaching for a dummy can feel like the easiest fix, and for some parents it’s a choice that truly helps in the moment. Dummies can offer a quick calming effect, especially in those early newborn weeks when everything feels a bit overwhelming and chaotic.

But here is where we pause and look gently at the bigger picture.

Over the years, I’ve seen firsthand how relying too heavily on a dummy can sometimes create more stress down the track. I’ve worked with families who struggle with weaning their toddler off the dummy, and it often becomes an emotional crutch, even at ages where speech, independence, and emotional expression are beginning to bloom.

One memory that stands out is watching a 4-year-old who still needed their dummy at bedtime, during outings, and even while playing. They didn’t know how to self-regulate without it. I also noticed he was trying to talk with a dummy still in his mouth, which made it hard for him to express himself clearly. When I gently encouraged him to take it out so we could chat, all hell broke loose. He clammed up completely and didn’t want to talk at all.

It broke my heart because I could tell he wanted to connect and express himself, but the dummy was getting in his way. He was so used to having it that he didn’t even realize it was making speech harder. Sometimes I think parents don’t always realize this, understandably, they just want to help their child feel calm and comforted in the moment. But over time, the dummy can quietly become a barrier to communication and confidence.

That’s why I always encourage parents to think about dummies, not as “bad” or “wrong”, but as one of many soothing tools and sometimes, not the most helpful in the long run.

So as many parents have asked me, what can you do instead and that is an excellent question. So here’s my take on it.

Soothing isn’t just about silence and cries. It’s about connection, rhythm, and co-regulation. And there are beautiful, simple alternatives that help your baby learn to calm in your presence.

Quick pause, mama. Every mom’s journey is different, whether it’s sleep, feeding, dummies, or just day to day ups and downs. I’d really love to know what you are finding most challenging right now as a first time mum. The easiest way to share is to send me a quick DM on Instagram at @firstimemumschat. Just pop in the word ‘podcast’ at the start, so I know you’re coming from here. I read every message myself, and if you are open to it, I’ll reply with a couple of simple questions so you can learn more. Your feedback helps shape future episodes.

Here are some strategies that aren’t flashy and they don’t require gadgets or screens, but they build something that lasts, a baby who learns to settle with you, not with a substitute. Here are a few I’ve used and seen work beautifully in both my professional and personal experience.

Your voice is magic Humming softly, talking gently or singing a repetitive song or a family favorite lullaby creates both rhythm and comfort. Your baby doesn’t need you to be pitch perfect. They just need to feel your presence and your voice is so magical.

Movement is calming. Yes, it’s true that babies often respond beautifully to movement, whether it’s swaying, bouncing, or rocking, but not all movement is equal. Some forms of rocking can become habits that are hard to break later on, especially if the baby comes to rely on being held or walked around to sleep.

In my own experience as a nanny, an educator, I’ve found this kind of still grounded movement to be far more helpful than constant rocking. It’s peaceful, builds co-regulation and avoids creating habits that are hard to shift later. I often think of how this contrasts with using a dummy, instead of offering something external to keep a baby quiet, you are offering your presence, your rhythm, and your love. That kind of soothing lays a much stronger foundation for emotional resilience later on.

And touch settles the nervous system. Intentional touch can work wonders to calm your baby’s nervous system. It could be light baby massage strokes on their arms, back, or legs or simply placing your hand gently on their chest or tummy. Even holding their tiny feet in your hands can provide grounding comfort.

Before I even knew that baby massage existed, I would often calm babies by gently rubbing their forehead and down the top of their nose to the tip. It worked wonders. I later discovered that these are actually some of the foundational strokes used in baby massage and it made perfect sense. They’re deeply calming and help regulate the nervous system. I still use them today and they remain one of my go-to tools for soothing, unsettled little ones.

Did you know there are also areas in your baby’s feet connected to calming and relaxation? I certainly didn’t when I first started out. In my baby massage classes, I often share simple reflexology points that can be surprisingly soothing for little ones.

If you’d like to know more about how massaging your baby’s feet can help them feel calmer, send me a quick DM on Instagram at @firsttimemumschat. Just pop the word ‘podcast’ at the start, so I know you’re coming from here. I read every message and I’d love to hear from you. Your thoughts help me shape future episodes and better support you.

What I’ve often found is that this kind of touch and movement can offer just as much, if not more comfort than a dummy. Instead of relying on a plugin solution, you are giving your baby the experience of calming in connection with you, and that builds something long lasting.

Here’s a quick look at some of the pros and cons of dummies that I’ve discovered over the years. I’ve shared a lot in this episode about ways to soothe without relying on a dummy based on my own experience and approach. But let’s take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture.

As I mentioned at the start, this isn’t about judgment. Some families use dummies, and that’s perfectly okay, but I’ve always been a strong advocate for exploring connection and comfort strategies, especially ones that don’t rely on something your child may struggle to let go of later.

Some of the pros are:-

* That dummies can help settle babies quickly when nothing else seems to work.

* They can offer comfort during stressful situations like medical procedures.

* And in some cases using a dummy during sleep has been linked with reduced risk of SIDS (sudden infant syndrome) in the early months.

And some of the cons:-

* Overuse can delay the development of self-soothing skills.

* They may interfere with speech development, especially if used during the day when your little one is trying to talk. Remember my experience in that one? How it was heartbreaking to see the 4-year-old trying to talk when he had his dummy in his mouth.

* And it can be tricky to wean them off later, especially when they’ve become a constant source of comfort.

It can become a dependency, especially in tricky situations like car rides.

While some parents use dummies in the car, I’ve found that babies are often soothed naturally by the motion of the vehicle or gentle singing or humming. If a dummy falls out mid-drive and your little one begins to scream, it can become a major distraction and it’s not safe for a parent or caregiver to try retrieving it whilst driving.

Every baby is different. Every family is different. What works beautifully for one might not feel right for another and that’s perfectly okay.

And if you choose to use a dummy, just a few gentle guidelines I’ve come across that might help:

* Try not to reinsert it repeatedly if your baby spits it out during sleep. This could be a way of saying, I don’t want this dummy anymore and if you push it back in, it can actually disturb their sleep cycle and your own.

* Avoid coating it with anything sweet. I know that sounds silly, but I’ve seen people doing that. It’s not recommended and can lead to dental issues later on.

* And most importantly, always pair dummy use with safe sleep practices like placing a baby on their back, using a firm mattress and keeping the cot free of soft bedding, bumpers, or toys.

So as you can see, dummies can be really helpful in some situations, but also have their challenges.

By the way, later on, I’ll share how you can tell me what you are finding most challenging as a first time mom, and I’d love to hear from you.

These little adjustments help keep dummy use calming and supportive without creating more stress or dependency.

Just a quick note for your information. Some studies and organizations like Red Nose Australia and the American Academy of Pediatrics suggest that offering a dummy at sleep time may reduce the risk of SIDS in babies under 12 months.

Of course, that doesn’t mean a dummy is essential and it should never replace a safe sleep environment or your loving presence. But I wanted to mention it so you’ve got the full picture when deciding what’s best for your little one.

Soothing, your baby doesn’t need to rely on plastic or gadgets. You have everything a baby needs. Your presence, your voice, your rhythm, your touch. And that’s really what today’s episode is about, gently exploring ways to settle and comfort that build long-term connection and confidence, for both of you.

Want to explore this further? I’ve included links to the research I mentioned, including insights on safe sleep and dummies, so you can dig a little deeper if you’d like to. You’ll find them all in the show notes.

As I said, every mom’s journey is different, whether it’s sleep, feeding, dummies, or just the day-to-day ups and downs. I’d really love to know what you are finding most challenging right now as a first time mum.

The easiest way to share is to send me a quick DM on Instagram at @firsttimemumschat. Just pop in the word ‘podcast’ at the start, so I know you’re coming from here. I read every message myself, and if you’re open to it, I’ll reply with a couple of simple questions to learn more.

Your feedback helps shape future episodes, and it reminds me there’s a real mum on the other side of this mic. You’ll also find links to anything I mentioned today, including the safe sleep info and research around dummies in the show notes and don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast app, so you never miss an episode.

Until next time, take care and remember, you are your baby’s calm place. Next time I’ll be exploring the world of white noise and whether it truly helps babies sleep better or just masks the problem.