Transcript: Feeling Guilty About Feeding? 5 Infant Feeding Difficulties That Are Totally Normal

This is a text transcript from The First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. The episode is called Feeling Guilty About Feeding? 5 Infant Feeding Difficulties That Are Totally Normal and you can click on the link to view the full episode page, listen to the episode and view the show notes.

Hi, and welcome to First Time Mum’s Chat. I’m Helen Thompson, a childcare educator and baby massage instructor who’s spent over two decades supporting moms and babies through those early weeks and months of life. Whether you are listening while feeding your baby, pacing the floor, or grabbing a rare, quiet moment to yourself, I want to thank you for letting me into your world today.

In this episode, we’re exploring a topic that weighs heavily on so many new moms: guilt around feeding.

Whether you are breastfeeding, bottle feeding, doing a bit of both, or still figuring this out, this episode is here to reassure you that there’s no one right way.

What matters most is that your baby is loved and nourished, and that you feel supported, not judged.

You might have heard the phrase, fed is best and while Yes, it’s true I also know it’s not always enough to quieten that internal voice that whispers, “Shouldn’t I have tried harder?”

Guilt around feeding is surprisingly common and often invisible. It can show up when breastfeeding doesn’t go to plan, when bottle feeding feels “too easy”, or even when you’re simply tired of the constant pressure to do it all “right.”

In fact, a 2023 infant feeding survey found that around 65% of mums felt judged for their feeding choices, and that number rose to nearly 70% for those combining breast and formula. It’s a powerful reminder that if you are feeling unsure or second guessing yourself, you are far from alone. I’ll pop a link to the full survey in the show notes if you’d like to take a closer look.

I wanted to share something from my own family because feeding journeys have always been full of emotion, even across generations.

Back in the 1960s when my older sister was born, my mom really struggled to breastfeed. There was little support back then. No lactation consultants, no breastfeeding groups, and also no online forums.

When I came along, she chose to bottle feed. And she often told me how much she appreciated that my dad was able to help. He was very hands on, which at the time was quite unusual.

That story always stayed with me. It showed me that feeding has always been emotional, personal and full of big decisions even long before social media or In my work over the years, I’ve seen just how different every feeding journey can be. I’ve supported mums who sobbed through feeds because of pain, sometimes from latch issues, positioning challenges, or sheer exhaustion. I’ve seen others try remedies like cabbage leaves, soothing creams or switching feeding positions, and sometimes that made a world of difference.

But I’ve also supported moms who after weeks of struggling, chose formula and felt immediate relief. Relief that they could enjoy bonding with their baby without dreading every feed. Relief that they could rest, that they could just breathe.

And for many families, mixed feeding becomes the sweet spot. There’s no one size fits all solution and that’s perfectly okay.

Hey, quick pause. If something I’ve said is hitting home, why not leave me a short voice message? You’ll find the link at mybabymassage.net/message. I’d love to hear your story or just say Hi.

Feeding isn’t just about nutrition, it’s also about connection, pressure, exhaustion and most of all, survival, especially in those early weeks.

I’ve worked with families where unpredictable work schedules, things like shift work or long days on their feet, made bottle feeding a practical solution. Sometimes it was the only way to share the load and stay sane. Even as babies got older, some families continued with the combination that worked for their rhythm, not because they had to but because it simply worked for them.

That’s the reality for many families, and it deserves to be honored, not judged.

If you are feeling guilt right now, I want you to know it doesn’t belong to you. You are learning, not failing. You are doing your best with what you know today.

So I invite you to say this aloud or in your mind even just once:

” My baby is loved. My baby is fed, and I’m doing what’s best for both of us.”

Let that be your truth today.

Thanks so much for joining me on this episode of First Time Mum’s Chat. I hope you’ve felt supported and reassured as you navigate your feeding journey. Over the past four years, I’ve been fortunate to speak with some incredible guests, from lactation consultants to midwives and fellow moms, all sharing their experiences and insights around infant feeding. If you’d like to explore more, I’ve included links to a few of those episodes in the show notes.

And if today’s episode struck a chord. Maybe you’ve faced guilt, uncertainty, or just needed someone to remind you, that you are doing okay. I’d love to hear from you. You can leave me a short voice message note at mybabymassage.net/message, mybabymassage.net/message.

Your story could be just what another mom needs to hear.

Next time I’ll be diving into the lesser discussed sides of breastfeeding, the messy bit, the emotional highs and lows, and how to find your own rhythm.

Until then, take care and remember, you are doing an amazing job.