Transcript: 5 Baby Sleep Secrets Every Exhausted Mum Needs to Know – #3 is a Game Changer!
This is a text transcript from The First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. The episode is called 5 Baby Sleep Secrets Every Exhausted Mum Needs to Know – #3 is a Game Changer! and you can click on the link to view the full episode page, listen to the episode and view the show notes.
Are you running on fumes? Wondering if you’ll ever sleep again? Hi, and welcome to First Time Mum’s Chat. I’m Helen Thompson, child care educator and a baby massage instructor, and I’m here to support you as you navigate the wild, beautiful, and sometimes exhausting journey of early motherhood. If you’re a first time mum struggling with newborn sleep, you’re not alone.
Sleepless nights, unpredictable wake ups and endless advice can leave you feeling overwhelmed. But what if you could decode your baby’s sleep cues, understand why they wake so often, and use gentle techniques like baby massage to help them settle more easily? In this episode, I’ll share practical, no nonsense tips to help you survive and even thrive through those sleep deprived nights.
You’ll discover how to work with your baby’s natural rhythms, avoid overtired meltdowns, and create a soothing bedtime routine that works for you. Plus, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sleep isn’t just about getting more rest. It’s about connection and I’ll show you how small, simple changes can make a huge difference. So, if you’ve ever asked yourself, will my baby ever sleep longer than two hours, then stick around.
As First Time Mum’s chat kicks off its fourth year, I’m shaking things up. I’ll be diving deep into solo episodes, sharing my insider tips as a childcare educator and baby massage instructor. My mission to give you the real no fluff advice you need to make parenting easier, calmer and way less stressful.
But here’s the thing. I want you to be a part of the conversation. Got a burning question? Struggling with something no one else seems to talk about? Drop me a message and let’s tackle it together. Your question could be featured in an upcoming episode. So don’t miss out. Stick around because later in the episode I’ll share exactly how you can reach out and be a part of this conversation.
So let’s dive in.
Today we’re tackling one of the most common challenges for first time mums and that is newborn sleep. Whether you’re feeling confused by conflicting advice, or overwhelmed by baby’s unpredictable sleep patterns, this episode is here to guide you. I’ll walk you through different ways to navigate sleep, why each strategy can be valuable, and how to tune in to your baby’s unique needs and your own parenting style. Remember, there’s no one size fits all solution and it’s all about finding what works best for you and your little one.
If you’re a new parent, wondering if you’ll ever sleep again, you’re not alone. Those early weeks and months can be a real blur of sleepless nights, coffee fueled mornings, and an occasional day where you wonder if wearing mismatched socks is now your signature style.
Don’t worry, today I’m here to share practical, supportive tools to help you navigate newborn sleep, plus a few laughs, because let’s face it, we all need some humour to survive sleep deprivation. We’ll explore why newborns sleep the way they do, how to understand their sleep cues, and strategies that might just give your little one and you more shut eye and of course, I’ll share how baby massage can play a small but powerful role in this process.
Here’s a quick reminder, before we dive into newborn sleep, it’s important to remember that adults have more experience than babies. Babies tiny bodies and brains are still developing. Their shorter sleep cycles, frequent waking, and irregular patterns are all completely normal. It’s important to understand that babies are still learning that process. They’ve been inside in a nice warm womb, for nine months, and then they come out into the open world, where they are learning how to cope with sleep, and how to cope with all the wonders of the outside world.
One of the key things to remember is that every baby is unique. Some babies may settle quickly into longer stretches of sleep, while others may take longer to develop those patterns. That’s why It’s so important to go with your baby’s cues and watch and observe what they are doing and not to compare yourself to others or following rigid advice. If you’re interested in understanding more about how newborn sleep works, I’ve covered this in earlier episodes of First Time Mums Chat. It’s a great foundation for today’s tips. I will add links to these episodes in the show notes.
Sleep deprivation is so common for new parents, we all know that. Let’s dive in to find out why sleep deprivation happens in your little one’s first three to four months. Newborns have very short sleep cycles, often only two to four hours at a time and they wake frequently for feeding, comfort, or because their tiny bodies are still adjusting to life outside the womb. For many parents, this unpredictable schedule can feel overwhelming. You’re already exhausted, but your baby’s needs don’t stop. It’s important to remember that this phase is temporary, even though it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the thick of it. Knowing this can help shift your mindset and give you some reassurance as we explore ways to cope.
Okay, why do newborns sleep like unpredictable little alarm clocks? Those mysterious short cycles. They wake up just as you’re drifting off, or as soon as you sit down with a well earned cup of tea. Here’s the thing. Newborns spend more time in active sleep, which is a lighter sleep and helps their growing brains process all that new information they’re taking in. It’s normal, but I know that doesn’t make it any less exhausting for you.
Let’s talk about practical ways to make this stage more manageable. These aren’t magic fixes, but they can help lighten the load and give you some breathing room.
Point number one, sleep when your baby sleeps. I know you’ve probably heard this before, but it really does make a difference. Even short naps can help you recharge your batteries. If household tasks are getting in the way, try to let them go or ask for help. A 20 minute nap while your baby sleeps can work wonders. Babies have catnaps, so why can’t we participate?
Two, create a support network. Don’t hesitate to lean on your partner, family or friends. If someone offers to help, take them up on it. It’s important to express to your baby that you need help. It’s giving them the reassurance, it’s giving them respect, it’s giving yourself responsibility. I’ve mentioned this in a podcast I’ve recently done. So if you want to find out more, that will be in the show notes.
Whether it’s holding the baby while you nap or bringing over a meal, having a support system can make a huge difference. Splitting nighttime duties.
If you have a partner, consider alternating shifts so you both get some longer stretches of sleep. For example, one of you can handle feeds or changes until midnight and the other can take over until morning.
If you don’t have a partner or if your partner needs that sleep because he’s going to work, speak to your doctor and see if you can get a midwife to help or a mother craft nurse or a doula. You never know, they might be able to support you in this or a family or friend. Set realistic expectations. This isn’t the time to try to do it all. Prioritise what’s essential and let go of the rest. Your main job right now is caring for your baby and most importantly, for yourself. The old saying is, in an aeroplane for you to take the oxygen first before you give it to your baby because if you don’t have that oxygen, you’re not going to be able to give that support to your baby.
Incorporate soothing techniques. Now this is where baby massage can be a helpful tool, even if it’s not your focus. A quick tummy or back rub can help your baby relax and settle more easily, especially before bed. A note here on the baby massage side is if you have a newborn, just choose one, either a bath or a massage before bed. Try not to do both because newborns do get overstimulated and that’s not the effect we want to have.
We want to ensure that baby massage is calm and relaxing for you both. So, when they’re newborns, just maybe choose one, a bath or a baby massage, or do alternative ones once or twice a week.
The other one is to take care of your basic needs. Now people say this to me all the time. I don’t have time to take care of my needs. My needs are my baby’s needs and I’m just too exhausted and too overwhelmed to take care of my own basic needs. It is hard to function. function when you’re running on empty, so don’t forget to eat, hydrate and move your body. Even a short walk outside can boost your energy and mood.
Join a mother’s group. Find some other mothers who have got small babies so that you can do things together. Go out for a coffee with them. go to a baby massage class or go to a yoga class. Just do what you can to get out of the house and move that energy so you can support yourself but whilst doing that, you’re also supporting your baby.
The other thing I wanted to mention is celebrate small wins. Surviving sleepless nights or getting your baby to settle for an extra 10 minutes is a win! Acknowledge these small victories. They add up and help you feel more confident. Whatever the win is, celebrate those small wins. It’s so important for you to celebrate those. So congratulations for any of those small wins.
Let’s start with how baby massage can be a lifesaver. It helps your little one relax and sleep better. After all, babies thrive on touch, it’s their first language. When you incorporate baby matters into their daily routine, you’re helping to release feel good hormones like oxytocin, which I rather like to call, the love hormone. Oxytocin can lower stress for both you and your baby. That’s what’s so important, lowering that stress level for both of you.
These moments of connection also help you bond with your baby. Calming them and creating a sense of security, that supports better sleep for both of you. Now, how can baby massage help soothe your baby? Baby massage works wonders because it allows you to tune into your baby’s cues while promoting relaxation and comfort.
For example, gentle tummy strokes can ease gas and colic, while back massages can help release tension. These soothing techniques are especially effective during the quiet alert state, when your baby is calm and receptive. Adding baby massage into a daily routine, maybe after a warm bath or just before bedtime, can signal to your baby it’s time to relax and prepare for sleep.
Over time, this routine creates a sense of predictability which helps your baby feel safe and secure. One of the most important times to notice in your baby’s day is what we call the quiet alert state. This is when your baby is calm, content, and focused. The quiet alert state is that sweet spot for bonding activities like baby massage, playing with your baby, cooing to your baby, singing to your baby, whatever that may be.
During this time, your baby is receptive to your touch and interaction, which makes it easier to help them feel soothed and relaxed. Baby massage during the quiet alert state can prepare your little one for better sleep by reducing stress hormones and promoting that lovely calming oxytocin hormone which we all know and love.
This state often happens after a feed or a short nap. Understanding your baby’s alert state can be a game changer but here’s a little hint. The magical moment is when your baby is calm and focused and ready to interact. They may have wide, curious eyes, relaxed little arms, and maybe some adorable cooing or light vocalizations.
It’s a great time for bonding activity and yes, baby massage is included in that. But here’s the thing, it’s also the perfect time to start winding down for sleep and recognizing this state and acting on it can be a game changer.
On the flip side, keep an eye out for those early sleep cues like yawning, rubbing their eyes, or that adorable head bob that says, I’m done with today, I’m just done. If you catch these cues early, you can help your baby settle before they hit the overtired mode, a place no parent or baby wants to be. Trust me, overtired babies have a way of making sure everyone knows they’ve hit their limit and it’s distressing for both the baby and for the parents and for the people around you.
Next, let’s talk about recognizing your baby’s sleep cues. One of the biggest hurdles for new parents is understanding when their baby is ready to sleep. The good news is, babies are great communicators. They’ll show you when they’re tired but it’s also about learning their unique signals. Like I mentioned earlier, rubbing their eyes, yawning or turning their head away, these are cues that your baby is moving towards a sleepier state. On the flip side, if your baby is arching their back, crying or waving their arms and legs rapidly, they may have already passed the ideal window and become overtired. So this is why it’s really important to catch those early cues and respond promptly, and that can make it much easier for you and your baby to settle into a restful sleep.
There are many approaches to newborn sleep and what works for one family might not work for another. The key here is to be flexible and find a method that suits your baby’s temperament and your lifestyle.
Now let’s talk about strategies. There are many approaches to newborn sleep and what worked for one family might not work for another. The key here is to be flexible and find a method that suits your baby’s temperament and your lifestyle.
One popular strategy is following your baby’s cues, recognizing when they’re showing signs of tiredness. Like I mentioned before, the yawning, the rubbing of the eyes and turning their head away and responding to those cues quickly. can really help with settling your baby. It’s always important to observe your baby and watch what they are communicating. Babies may not be able to talk to us, but they can pick up on our energy. They are like sponges. They have ways of communicating with us. We as carers just need to give them the chance to let us know. Check out a recent episode of First Time Mum’s Chat with Lauren Dionysus, where we chatted about baby’s energy and communication.
You might also want to try introducing a calming pre sleep routine. As I mentioned, baby massage can be great for this. This can help signal to your baby that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep. In fact, baby massage is something I’m incredibly passionate about because it has so many benefits, not just for sleep, but for colic.
Teasing, relaxation, stress, building body awareness, singing, communication. There are just so, so many benefits. I’ve created a free guide to help you get started. And you can grab it at mybabymassage. net, dot net forward slash massage. Finally, remember that some babies respond well to being swaddled or rocked, while others prefer to settle on their own. The best approach is the one that feels right for your baby and for you.
Another approach is creating a day night routine. During the day, keep things bright, open. Open the curtains, play with your baby, and expose them to natural light. At night, make the environment calm and quiet, dim the lights to help your baby begin to distinguish between day and night.
It’s important to remember, as I said before, that every baby is different and what works for your friend’s baby, might not work for yours. Trust your instincts as a parent and don’t be afraid to try different approaches until you find what feels right for you both. That’s such an important key. It’s also okay if your preferences as a parent play a role in the strategies you choose. For example, if you’re finding it hard to stick to rigid routines, focus on being flexible and responsive to your baby’s cues instead.
Or If you feel confronted by having structure, then incorporating consistent routines might help both you and your baby feel calmer. The most important thing is to focus on connection, tuning into your baby’s needs and responding in a way that feels authentic to you both. This approach not only supports your baby’s development, but also builds confidence in your parenting ability. It’s a win-win for you both.
Now, I want to talk about the importance of mindset and flexibility. One of the most important things to remember during this phase is to be kind to yourself. It’s easy to feel you’re not doing enough or to compare yourself to other parents who seem to have it all together but every baby is different. Every parent has their own challenges.
I know I’ve said that before, but it is so important to remember that every baby is different and the way you do things is different as well. Every baby and every parent has their own challenges. This is where flexibility comes in. If one approach isn’t working, try something else and again, listen to your baby’s cues, but also listen to your own needs.
Some nights will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace and remember that this phase is temporary and it may sound crazy to say this but treasure those moments because they won’t last forever. Your baby will grow up and then you can laugh about these moments.
It’s so important to treasure those moments.
As we wrap up today’s episode, let’s quickly recap the key takeaways. Understanding your baby’s unique sleep cues, establishing a consistent bedtime routine, and incorporating baby massage can significantly improve your little one’s sleep patterns.
Thank you so, so much for joining me today on First Time Mum’s Chat. Your time and trust mean the world to me. If you find this episode helpful, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Your feedback helps me reach and support more first time mums, yes, just like you.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. If you have any questions or topics you’d like me to cover, feel free to reach out. I would love to hear from you. Until then, remember Every step you take is a step towards a more restful night for both you and your baby. Happy parenting!