Transcript: Struggling With a Fussy Baby? Tune In to This Baby Massage Q&A for Expert Tips and Soothing Techniques

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Welcome to another episode of First Time Mum’s Chat. Today, we’re diving into a topic that can be a real game changer for new mums, baby massage. As a new mum, you’re likely dealing with a lot of sleepless nights and trying to make sense of your baby’s cues.

Massage can help make your journey into motherhood smoother and in this episode, I’m going to answer some of the most pressing questions that moms regularly ask me. You’ll hear me address commonly asked questions, including how long should a baby massage session last and how often should I do it? Are there any specific techniques that can soothe and calm my baby? What can I do if my baby is fidgety or uncomfortable during a massage and why does my baby cry during a massage?

And so, so much more.

Now let’s start answering your questions.

How long should a baby massage session last and how often should I do it? Well, this is a great question and there’s no one size fits all answer because every baby is different. Aim for a time when your baby is calm and alert but not too tired or hungry. Baby massage usually only takes 10 to 15 minutes, so it’s manageable to do at least once a day. Remember, baby massage is always baby led, so let your little one guide you.

Another question that I am frequently asked when I teach my baby massage classes is are there any specific techniques I should use to soothe and calm my baby when they’re fussy or crying? When your baby is crying they’re communicating their needs to you like hunger or tiredness. It’s not the ideal time for a full massage, but you can still offer comfort.

Try cuddling them while gently massaging their feet. The feet connect to different organs and these small touches can work wonders. For example, running your finger from the big toe to the heel can calm an overtired baby. While pressing in the centre of the foot, this area is linked to relaxation. Give it a try and see how you go and let me know how it works for your little one.

Another pressing question that I frequently get asked is how can baby massage improve my baby’s sleep patterns and help them settle more easily. This is a common question, just like massage relaxes us as adults, it does the same for babies.

A soothing massage before bedtime can help them wind down, especially if they’re experiencing tummy discomfort. It also strengthens the emotional bond and trust between you and your baby, which naturally helps them feel more secure and settled.

What if my baby seems fidgety or uncomfortable during a massage? Rest assured, that’s perfectly normal. It is important to always ask your baby’s permission before starting a massage and when training parents to massage their babies, I teach them the permission sequence.

Even though they can’t speak, they communicate through their body language. If they’re fidgety or uncomfortable, it might be their way of telling you they’ve had enough or they need a break. Don’t worry, just stop and try again later. Baby massage is meant to be enjoyable for both of you and please remember it is always baby led.

I’ve tried to massage my baby and they just cry all the time, so, what is the point, what do you suggest? Babies cry to communicate. If your baby is crying during the massage, it might mean they’re not ready or they’re uncomfortable. Always pay attention to their cues and if they seem distressed, pause and come back to it another time. As I said before, baby massage is always baby led, so follow their lead.

Here are five reasons your baby cries during massage.

1) Pressure of the massage. Massaging your baby too firmly can cause tears. We don’t want massage to be painful, so firm, gentle strokes is the way to go. You do not want it to be too gentle as they may be ticklish, overstimulating and the baby might eventually feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Experiment with your pressure, trying each stroke slightly more softly, then slightly more firmly, to get an idea of what your baby prefers. Everyone is an individual with their own preferences, so it’s well worth taking your time to work out what kind of pressure they like best.

2) is overstimulated. While we think of massage as calm and relaxing, which it is by the way, it can sometimes be overstimulating and tiring for your little one. This is because baby massage engages the first sense that infants develop, which is a sense of touch. When you massage your baby, you are both communicating with each other through the powerful language of touch. This is a wonderful experience for you both, but in some cases it can be tiring and overstimulating for your baby.

Look out for your baby’s cues of overstimulation, which could be looking away from you, clenching their little fists or bringing the hands up to push you away. Your baby will build up their tolerance to massage and will not get overstimulated but remember, it is always baby led and it is important to respect your baby’s wishes.

3) They may be too hot or too cold. We all know what it’s like to be cold when you are massaged. It is hard to enjoy a massage if you are cold. Their attention will be on their discomfort instead of that special moment you are creating together.

Putting your hands on your baby’s tummy can give you a sense of your baby’s temperature. Warming your hands up before you massage can also be very beneficial and it is also part of the permission sequence. Some mothers like to dress their babies in zip up pyjamas while massaging. This can be a great way to just expose the area you are massaging.

If you have the air conditioner or heater on too high, they can overheat. If they are turning red or appear to be sweating, try turning the heat down and as I said, always remember that massage is baby led and check their temperature at all times to make sure they are not too cold or not too hot.

4) They may be hungry or thirsty. As I mentioned massage can be overstimulating After all, it’s a form of exercise for your baby. That’s why it can make them extra thirsty or hungry. Look out for your baby’s hunger cues and remember it is okay to take a break to feed your baby. Some massage strokes can be done whilst you are feeding your baby.

5) Feeling unwell. We all know what it’s like to feel unwell, particularly after we have been vaccinated. Your baby is no different to us It’s important to avoid massage for at least 24 hours after any vaccinations. However, there are some strokes that can relieve your baby’s symptoms, for example, teething and tummy troubles.

If they are crying consistently when you massage those areas, stop the massage immediately. You could always try a different part of the body, but keep a very close eye on your baby and if the crying continues, it’s time to call it quits for the day

What are the benefits of baby massage for both my baby and me? There are so many benefits to baby massage but here are a few to get you started. Baby massage promotes bonding through touch, eye contact and verbal and nonverbal communication. It builds trust, boosts confidence in handling your baby, and can even help alleviate symptoms of postnatal depression. It also helps brain development, it helps with language, it helps with social skills and it helps with other senses as well as touch. For example, hearing, and seeing. They are hearing your voice as you communicate with them and talk to them. They are also seeing your smiley faces, so they learn self expression.

Whether you’re a first time mum or experienced, baby massage strengthens the emotional connection with your baby and supports the psychological development. How soon after birth can I start giving my baby a massage? A nurturing touch can begin from birth in the very early weeks. Your baby may find a full massage too stimulating, so start slow with gentle skin to skin contact and small touches, like massaging their feet or back.

You’ll gradually grow more comfortable with it and and it will become a beautiful bonding experience. When they’re very, very young babies, I don’t suggest you massage them after a bath because they may become overstimulated and they may not like it if they’re overstimulated.

How can baby massage help with common issues like gas, colic or constipation? Baby massage can be incredibly helpful for tummy issues. Tummy strokes help move trapped air through the digestive system. While abdominal massage can stimulate digestion. and ease constipation. For colic, gentle chest and tummy massage often helps to release gas, which can be a major cause of discomfort.

Many parents find that regular massage can reduce colic symptoms, making both baby and mom feel more at ease. If you have any major concerns about your baby’s health, whether it’s colic or constipation and you’ve tried massage and it hasn’t helped, well please, please contact your medical practitioner.

One other question that I’m frequently asked is about baby massage oil and this is a very, very important question because baby massage oil is perfectly fine to use on your baby. Here are a few points to consider though. Make sure that it is pure and it’s organic and also make sure that it is not cold pressed.

Make sure that you do a patch test before you massage your baby with oil. This is a means of ensuring that the oil you intend using won’t cause any bad reactions, or trigger any allergies, etc. before you use it on them. Please bear in mind that almond oil, coconut oil, sunflower oil and sesame oil are all excellent for babies and will help their skin. Please make sure that any oil used is organic and natural and that it does not contain any additives or preservatives.

A lot of people say that essential oils are good for your baby and yes, I do agree with that. However, in my experience, it is better just to use natural oils because at the end of the day, you are wanting your baby to get that bonding and strong connection of touch with you and you don’t want them to be smelling anything else. Essential oils are brilliant, but not for a newborn baby. If you want to find out more about what essential oils you can use for your baby, I highly recommend you speak to a qualified aromatherapist who will be able to guide you in that area. From my experience, I don’t recommend using essential oils.

Thank you for joining me on this baby massage Q& A of First Time Mum’s Chat. I hope these answers help you feel more confident about using baby massage to connect with and care for your baby. If you try any of these techniques, I’d love to hear how they work for you. Want to know the secret to a calmer, happier baby? Get my free baby massage quick-start guide and discover simple techniques that will help your little one sleep better, strengthen their muscles, boost circulation and so, so much more. Don’t miss out on this chance to make a difference today. Grab yours now at MyBabyMassage.net/massage, that’s MyBabyMassage.net/massage.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review and sharing it with other mums who might benefit. In the next episode, I’ll be chatting with Garrett Kusmierz Wood about the challenges of motherhood, around breastfeeding and mental health. Until next time, take care of yourself and remember to take that big deep breath in, be gentle with your journey and remember you’re doing an amazing job.

Keep going mum, you’ve got this.