Transcript: 4 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Introducing Dog to Newborn

This is a text transcript from The First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. The episode is called 4 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Introducing Dog to Newborn and you can click on the link to view the full episode page, listen to the episode and view the show notes.

Helen Thompson: Hi there, I’m Helen Thompson, a qualified child care educator and your host of First Time Mum’s Chat podcast. If you’re a first time mum navigating the joys and challenges of early parenthood, this is a podcast for you. Each episode, I bring you holistic insights, practical tips and expert advice to help you feel more confident and connected as you embark on this incredible journey.

In today’s episode, we’re diving into something that so many new mums with furry family friends worry about. How to safely and successfully introduce your baby to your dog. I’m joined by Aileen Cronin, who shares her expert strategies for preparing your dog for this life changing transition.

Aileen is not only a devoted mother and seasoned Canine Behavior Consultant, but also the founder of Baby Pack Leader, where she specializes in helping families prepare their dogs for the arrival of a baby. With over a decade of experience, Aileen is passionate about fostering safe and harmonious relationships between dogs and children and she’s here to share invaluable tips and strategies to navigating this transition with confidence.

Have you ever wondered how to ensure your baby’s safety around an overly excited or protective dog, or why setting boundaries for your dog even before your baby arrives can make all the difference?

Aileen not only answers these questions but also provides actionable steps to create a harmonious and stress free environment for everyone in your household. Whether you’re dealing with a happy, go lucky Labrador or a nervous rescue pup, this episode is packed with practical tips to help you feel prepared and confident as a parent and also a pet owner.

You’ll hear why simple changes can not only reduce your stress, but also strengthen the bond between your dog and your baby. So why not grab a cuppa and join me for this insightful conversation that could transform the way you approach this exciting stage of family life. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

Aileen, your work as both a mum and a canine behaviour expert is so unique and inspiring. You’ve dedicated your career to helping families create safe and loving relationships between their dogs and their babies, something so many new parents worry about. Before we dive in, can you share your journey and what sparked your passion for this fascinating and vital area of work?

Aileen Cronin: Hi, thanks for having me. Yeah, I’d love to share a little bit about how I got here. I’ve been working with dogs for about 10 years. I got into working with dogs because I had a dog that nobody could fix. So I worked with a ton of different people to find someone who could help me have a better relationship with my dog and when I found the person who had so much to share and it really helped me improve that relationship, I sold my house, quit my job and followed them around for three years.

So I just dove head first into this and then when I met my husband he was like, do you want to have kids and I said, well, I would have kids with you and we started our family. So, we, like a lot of other people during COVID said, hey, we actually have the time to have a family now. So we had our daughter, Charlie, and I was faced with this conundrum of how do I manage this big, robust dog training business and keep my children safe? How do I bring her to work with me and help her have a wonderful relationship with dogs and that’s kind of the birth of Baby Pack Leader.

So we just started bringing her to work with us and at the time, no one was traveling, we weren’t doing any boarding and we just threw her in a pack and she did our doggy daycare with us and that’s kind of how it all got going.

Helen Thompson: Wow, it’s a very unique thing to be involved in because I think a lot of parents have dogs with their babies and it can be a fear for them to know what’s going to happen with the dog. I can imagine how busy you can be with that business.

Aileen Cronin: Yeah, I tell everyone, whether you have a career working with dogs or not, we still have this huge fear going into it of how are we going to manage it all and how are things going to work out? It eventually does. I think that as a first time mom, there’s so much to take in and learn about and sometimes the dog can not always be prioritized and all of that, because it feels like there’s more important things and that’s where I come in to help people to be an advocate for the dog and to help people avoid some of the pitfalls that come when we do think that our dogs will be just fine with this huge change.

Helen Thompson: Yeah, that brings me to a topic that I wanted to talk about with the dog preparation, before babies arrive. So I wanted to ask you what steps should parents take to prepare the dog for the arrival of their baby?

Aileen Cronin: I think the first thing is to get on the same page with your partner. A lot of times there’s one person in the relationship who is worried and one person who is saying, no, everything will be fine. I don’t know what you’re worried about. So the first thing I want people to do is have a tough conversation about what their expectations are as they move into this new phase of life.

Are we going to have rules and boundaries about where the dog can and cannot go? Are we going to be supportive with each other about how we maintain these rules and really helping both parties understand that how everyone feels is important, how everyone feels about the situation, all of their feelings are valid. I always say that we move at the pace of the slowest member of the pack. So whoever is having the most concerns, that is who we need to, I don’t want to say cater to, but that’s who we really want to design things around because I think it is important to make people feel safe and secure in their decisions as they move forward.

Helen Thompson: Yeah and the question that always worries me with babies and dogs is the baby’s safety. Cats and dogs love to snuggle up to you. They love to snuggle up to the baby. One of the things that this person said to me was she was nervous that the cat might snuggle up to the baby in the cot and be over the baby’s face so they might smother her and she was really concerned about that. So what’s some tips you’d give for the safety of the baby, including the family dog or the cat? I mentioned a cat, but I’m sure it can be very similar.

Aileen Cronin: Yeah, I think it’s similar on all accounts. And I think that every rule that I have has a reason it’s important for the pet and the reason it’s important for the human. So one of the first things that I tell people to start teaching while they’re still in the expecting phase before baby arrives is having boundaries to the dog, not being allowed anywhere the baby sleeps.

So if the baby will be sleeping in your bed, next to your bed, in a nursery, in a lounger, in a chair, in a swing, anywhere that the baby has any restful time, the dogs need to have a buffer zone around that. That is a private intimate place and the dogs don’t need to be extremely close to it.

I tell people, that rule is for the dog to understand that it doesn’t need to be right up in the baby’s face and so we as humans know exactly what we want in terms of a boundary. So if we just say, a lot of those things are really low to the floor, or they’re on a couch, or they’re at a level where the dogs can easily get to them, just bring that stuff out before baby arrives and teach a boundary, a good two to three foot boundary.

Now, if you have a really excitable dog, it might be a five foot boundary but most dogs, two to three feet away from all of those things, however you want to teach that is going to benefit you in the long run. When it comes to things like off limits in the bedroom, in the nursery or however you arrange your sleeping when your baby arrives, if you’re getting up in the middle of the night and the dog is underfoot, whether you’re breastfeeding or pumping or any of those things, if the dog is in the way, it’s going to add a layer of stress to the situation.

So it’s so much easier just to be like, oh, the dog sleeps in the living room now, whether that’s on the couch or in a kennel or however, just knowing that the dog has one place to be while you’re taking care of yourself and the baby is just removing stress from the situation.

Helen Thompson: Yeah and I know we’re talking about dogs here, but if it’s a cat, you just make sure the doors closed so that the cat can’t get into that area if you’re breastfeeding or doing whatever.

Aileen Cronin: Yeah and that’s just so you can keep things peaceful. If you find out down the line that you don’t need to have that rule, then great. You get rid of the rule, but it’s so much easier to teach it before the baby arrives and then go, oh, we don’t need this rule, we can allow the dog or the cat to have more freedom than to find out, oh my gosh, this is so frustrating. I feel like things are out of control and I’m so overwhelmed and then try to teach something after a negative pattern has already been put in place.

Helen Thompson: Yeah, of course, I totally get that one. The other thing is postpartum challenges. There can be a lot of postpartum challenges for a mother, let alone having a dog in there as well. So, what challenges do mums often face in the relationship with dogs after the baby is born and how can they overcome them?

Aileen Cronin: Yeah, that’s such a wonderful question because I will say, I had a very textbook postpartum experience but by working with so many families, I’ve learned that everybody’s postpartum experience can be so drastically different and I’m so grateful that people have allowed me to experience that with them through working with them and their family. So one of the things that really helped me in terms of postpartum, and this really doesn’t have anything to do so much with the dog, it just has to do with personal mental health, was someone said, hey, before you have your baby, I highly recommend getting in touch with a therapist or a counselor or someone that you can talk to, because if you have the baby and you’re in it later, it’s going to be really hard to try to find someone because you’re going to be so overwhelmed.

So if you already have a person that you just touch base with, which was something I did, because I was like, I love my job, I love my career, I feel like I have to give all of that up to be a mom. I was in a very unique position where I was able to combine those things very easily, but not everyone is. So oftentimes by the time I come in and I help people, we’re struggling with things, we didn’t anticipate that it would be so hard, we didn’t anticipate that we would have things with our baby that required appointments or seeking help and the dog just really falls to the bottom of the list and rightfully so. I don’t judge anyone for that. I tell people, just know going into this, that your dog will be deprioritized for a little bit and if you want to ahead of time, you can do things like on your baby registry, put a little flush fund for the dog to go to doggy daycare if you need the dog out of the house for the day or sign up to have it go with a dog walker. know that those things can be costly, but if we can set aside a little bit before and just have that fund there, it’ll alleviate us of a lot of guilt.

So I always tell people it can be anywhere from 12 weeks to a year before you look at your dog and go, Oh, hey, hi, I like you, do you want to go on a walk? That is all within the realm of a normal timeline that I see for people. So, I just say start with five minutes and you will remember all of those things you loved about them before, but I do experience with a lot of people that they’re kind of annoyed by barking or annoyed because the dog is making noise. We get really overstimulated by sound. So if the dog is making noise, that can be really tough for some mums barking. I recently met with someone who was like, our dog has never bitten anyone before and now he’s bitten three people in the last month and I just went in and I was like, okay, we need to start over then, we need to make some agreements in the household.

Agreement number one. If you’re traveling or out of town, whoever is taking care of the baby is not also taking care of the dog. So we’re going to solve that problem by when you travel, the dog will board with me. So we’re going to remove opportunity. Then in an effort to improve the behavior, we came up with some training drills.

I don’t know if that situation was as related to the baby as it was related to they had a move last year, but I think those two things combined are such big changes. It’s not shocking that the dog would start to have some behavioral problems as a fallout from that. So, the good news is they reached out early, and we’re able to put together a plan. Yeah, I say in the beginning, just five minutes, it all starts with just five minutes.

Helen Thompson: Yeah that was a sensitive topic I was going to ask you about. If the dog has had that experience of biting before, how can you support so that it doesn’t feel that it has to bite the baby because it’s jealous. We all hear about siblings having rivalry but what about the dog? I’m sure there’s a dog rivalry as well, because the dogs had so much attention before the baby’s born and then suddenly this little baby arrives and the dog’s shut out or put into the kennel, as you say, or not allowed into a certain area. So when the baby’s out, being with the family, the dog might have its rivalry and bite the baby. So do you combat that one?

Aileen Cronin: I would say that a lot of people who have a dog who has a history of biting people are the most proactive. So they call me, they’re like, hey, we just got a positive pregnancy test and our dog has bitten someone and we need help. So the nice thing is when you start early, all of those changes aren’t necessarily related to just the baby. The people that I work with that have the hardest time is people who didn’t do any preparation and then everything changed the day the baby got there.

So if you work on these things before the baby arrives, then it’s not necessarily associated with just the baby. It’s just, these are rules and now the baby’s here, right? So when we delay and we put off teaching the dog to be comfortable with these baby items or to have rules about jumping or the bed or removing access to certain areas, and then the baby comes, they’re like, well, everything changed when you showed up and now I feel resentment towards you. They don’t necessarily feel a literal emotion of resentment, but they certainly know, oh, well, everything changed when baby arrived. Then additionally, if the parents are stressed by that, the dog is like, oh, well, let me help you by controlling the thing that makes you feel stressed and I happen to use my mouth to control things. So that really is like a perfect setup for a dog to bite a child or a baby is when we don’t do anything and we think that everything is fine. So preparing before the baby arrives really helps soften the association to why we’re making those changes and it helps the dog understand that these rules existed before the baby became a part of the household.

Helen Thompson: Yeah that’s interesting because that can be quite a stressful thing for a mother. If your dog is friendly and happy do they still need training and boundaries especially after a baby arrives?

Aileen Cronin: Oh yeah, I think everyone has a different perception of happy and friendly. So when I picture when most people say my dog is happy and friendly, I picture a really overexcited dog. An overexcited dog can be just as harmful to a child as an aggressive dog. It just is unintentional and they may not use their mouth. I had someone tell me this weekend, Oh, we went and met this dog that we were thinking about adopting and it felt like he was bowling for toddlers and I thought that was hilarious because I’m just picturing this Australian shepherd that they’re looking at, just knocking over all of the kids in the park. They wanted to adopt this dog and I said, if you really truly feel like this dog is the next member of your household and this is a situation that you can manage, I will help you.

She ended up texting me later and saying, it just didn’t feel right and I think my heart wanting to do the right humanitarian thing for this dog was beginning to overrule what I knew was right for us. I was like, Oh, I’m really proud of you. It’s really hard to walk away from a potential pet when you want to do the right humanitarian thing by them.

This person didn’t own this dog. If you own a dog that’s overexcited, we don’t want them jumping up. If you have a baby on a lounge or on the couch, you don’t want them to excitedly jump up off the couch and ricochet over the other side. I’ve seen dogs basically parkour over furniture.

We also don’t want them knocking over great grandma when great grandma comes to hold the baby and things like that. So their behaviors are different, but they can still have fallout. So we still want to make sure that we’re focusing on having boundaries there. People send me videos of their dogs sitting in their baby, it’s called a MamaRoo and it rocks back and forth and I’m like, that’s not funny, your baby’s going to go there and that’s something that it doesn’t bother you now, but when there is a little eight pound baby in there, you’re not going to feel so good about it. You’ll probably be a little afraid.

Helen Thompson: Yeah, that’s interesting. Is it advisable to get a puppy when the baby’s born, what’s your view on that?

Aileen Cronin: I mean, God bless because that is a lot of work. I know people that have done it and it’s been okay, but it is a lot of work. It’s like having two newborn babies. Puppies are a lot of work. When my daughter was born, we had four dogs and three of them, yeah, personal pets and then all of our boarding dogs. Before we got together, we each had two, which is a reasonable number and then we got married. So they were all very close in age and three of the four ended up passing in like a eight month period, it was devastating. Our daughter was very sad. She missed them so much.

Helen Thompson: How old was your daughter?

Aileen Cronin: When the first one passed away, she was barely two. It was two weeks after she turned two and two weeks before my son was born. It was the beginning of the end of an era and we kind of knew when this would happen, it was going to be devastating. We knew that she was going to be sad, but we’re very lucky because we have clients and we do puppy board and train, so she kind of got placebo pets. She got to play with dogs and be a part of it and then one day she came to us and she was like, I really miss Halo and he was the last one to pass away, so the one she probably remembered the best and we started our hunt for a dog and we ended up finding one. We met 30 dogs before we picked this dog. We just were really picky because my husband and I were still experiencing grief and we didn’t want to put expectations on this dog to be any one thing. Then when we met the one that we ultimately brought home, she was perfect.

What I learned in that was when you get a dog as a family, the primary bond really is the kids and the dog, and you are kind of the teacher. So it’s not the same as the dog you get when you’re 20. It’s not the same as the dog that you went through life with and had your first apartment with and all of those big things. The bond isn’t quite the same.

I encourage people to explore the grief part of that because it is a form of grief, but I think when you start getting dogs as a family, the pairing that you’re making is really the dogs and the kids, because if you’re looking for what you want for yourself or you’re trying to recreate something you had in the past, it’s just not going to be the way we expect, no. So I definitely discouraged getting a puppy when you’re either pregnant or have a very young child. It’s just a lot of work.

Helen Thompson: I would feel that if you’re going to get a puppy, get it about a year before you decide to have a baby, so it’s a little bit easier. It’s toilet trained, it’s gone through all the experiences because you don’t want to be toilet training a puppy and having to change babies. To me, it just doesn’t work.

I just wanted to mention that. I think my father when I was born, we had a very young dog, it was a Labrador and I’m not sure if it was a puppy or whether it was just about six months old, but I just remember that dog being in the family ever since I was born. That dog was with us until I was at least five or six.

Aileen Cronin: Yeah and it’s an amazing relationship. I don’t discourage anyone from having, because sometimes I feel like I come off as like, Oh, you’ve got to have all of these rules. What I want people to take away from it is that when you have rules in the beginning, cause everyone comes to me and I say, what is your goal with your dog and your baby and they say, I want them to be the best of friends. Everybody says that without fail, every single person says that. What I wish I could put in a capsule and give to them is that if you give the boundaries now, they will be the best of friends.

They will be, by the time your child can walk and talk and reasonably communicate with you. My son’s 20 months and he and the dog are the best of friends and my almost four year old and our puppy are the best of friends. That dog has a ton of rules and she doesn’t get free range, she doesn’t get to run around, but she’s super potty trained, she’s phenomenal on a leash, my daughter can walk her anywhere, my daughter can ride a bike while holding onto her leash and the dog just trots next to her. It’s amazing, she just learned all of these things from watching how we interacted with the dog.

So I think it’s just really important, I think that’s really the thing with parenting, knowing that every day is going to go a little bit sideways and doing the best you can to just not overwhelm yourself so much that you can kind of absorb the shock waves of when things go sideways and adding a dog to that can be overwhelming.

Helen Thompson: Yeah, it can be overwhelming. What resources or tools do you recommend for parents navigating a transition to a dog friendly household with a baby? Are there any resources that you would recommend?

Aileen Cronin: Oh, sure. We have an online course and it just goes over what I call the four levels of freedom. It’s basically a course that tells you like, one of those sheets that like, Oh, can you do this, yes or no? It gives you the map of what you should do and when just based on how you feel things are going with your dog and greeting new people, bringing people over to meet the baby, all of those things, bringing the baby home and that’s a nice little resource. I have a ton of free information, I have a ton of blog posts that are available that go over ways to navigate postpartum and all of those feelings and how to walk with a stroller.

When in doubt, whether it’s me or another person that does online coaching, or if you need someone in person, I belong to an organization called the International Association of Canine Professionals, and they have a link on their website where you can get someone in your area and that’s international.

So that’s a great resource too. So if you really feel like you need boots on the ground, someone, you can reach out to myself or go to that website and they’ll give you a whole list of people who are local to you. One of the reasons I’m so passionate about when I go in and I work with people is I’m a mom I get it. I get that we don’t have the same 24 hours a day as everyone else, I totally understand that. I totally understand what it’s like to be overwhelmed and overstimulated and over scheduled. So I think when you’re looking for someone to come into your home and help you, if they don’t get that, then they are not the right trainer for you. Don’t get someone that makes you feel guilt or shame or you’re doing a bad job. Get someone who really helps you navigate your circumstances.

Helen Thompson: Thank you for mentioning that because that was one of the reasons why I wanted to interview you about this, because being a mom and being a dog trainer is a very different experience from just being a dog trainer. I think you’ve got that incredible experience because you’ve gone through it and you know what to say to moms. So thank you for your amazing tips that you’ve given us.

Before we wrap up Aileen, could you share the best ways for our listeners to connect with you? I’m sure many of them are eager to learn more about your incredible work and how they can create a safe, loving environment for their baby and their furry friend.

Aileen Cronin: Our website is BabyPackLeader.Com and every button you click on will lead to a way to contact me or schedule a call directly with me and our Instagram is Instagram.com/BabyPackLeader. That’s the only social media I do because it’s so overwhelming to try to do them all, but it’s also where I have the most information.

Helen Thompson: Well thank you for being here. I really appreciated you coming on and chatting to me about this and so thank you for being here, it’s been a pleasure.

Aileen Cronin: This was great. Thank you.

Helen Thompson: Thank you so much for joining me and Aileen Cronin today on First Time Mum’s Chat. I hope you found her tips and strategies as insightful and actionable as I did. If you’re feeling more confident about preparing your furry friend for your baby’s arrival, don’t forget to share this episode with a fellow mum or pet owner who could benefit from Aileen’s advice.

Remember, creating a safe and harmonious home for your baby and dog starts with small, intentional steps, and it’s never too early to begin. If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, rate and leave a review to help other mums discover First Time Mum’s Chat and as always, check out the show notes for links to everything mentioned today.

Thank you for being part of this community of amazing mums. Until next time, keep trusting your instincts, embracing the journey and nurturing the incredible bond with your baby.